Maid of Honor Checklist
You have been selected. You’ve received the highest honor there is in the realm of weddings: the Maid of Honor. That’s right-you are being honored. What does it all mean exactly? Yes you know you are helping the bride in anything she might need but you suddenly find yourself waking up in the middle of the night wondering “What is it I’m actually supposed to do???” Being a Maid of Honor is a blessing but also a curse in that it’s stressful wondering what is actually expected of you. I’m here to break it down in 6 easy go-to responsibilities so you can boldly go where millions of women have gone before.
1. Keep the bride calm, cool, and collected.
When picked as the Maid of Honor you need to know right off the bat that you were chosen because you are a trusted, strong companion in the bride’s life and that is why she picked you. She knows you will be the rock in her possible storm so take joy in that and also let that prep you for your journey ahead. No matter what, you are there to guide her calmly through what seems like simple tasks because let’s face it, nothing is simple when planning a wedding! Just being there as a mind of the reason is a HUGE relief to any bride so don’t take that for granted.
2. Plan the bachelorette party and the bridal shower.
A lot of honorable maids get stressed out about this part and think they need to plan both the bridal shower and bachelorette party from start to finish by themselves. This isn’t the case at all. However, you do need to get the ball rolling. First get a list of all of her bridesmaids and close friends and family and simply start the process. Pick a location, an idea, and a theme and then delegate. No one said you had the keys to the universe but you do know what makes the bride tick so use them to your advantage. Arrange a group chat on Facebook or an email chain and suggest several options and then let everyone else give you feedback. You’ll be surprised how willing everyone is to participate because they care about the bride just as much as you do!
3. Hold all the things
This sounds incredibly simple but one of the biggest things you can do to help a bride is to hold things for her in any possible circumstance. I can’t tell you how many weddings I go to where the bride is left holding her flowers, her vows, and whatever other paraphernalia on her big day. When she’s at the altar, hold her bulky flowers. When you are at the bridal shower make notes of what gifts people give her to help her with thank you notes later. It’s the little details that make a lot of burden off the bride so don’t think for a second it goes unnoticed.
4. Dress shopping
Picking the dress for the biggest day of your life can be a daunting task no matter how laid back the bride is. Go with her to all the fittings, second looks, and even go inspiration shopping with her if need be. Yes it can be monotonous but most wedding dress shops these days carry lots of other fun items so you can sneak a little shipping in for yourself while you’re at it. Your support will be enough to get you brownie points for a lifetime during this difficult time.
This might sound more ridiculous than the “Hold Stuff” suggestion but trust me! There is nothing worse than having a DJ fire up those beats at your reception and seeing an empty dance floor. It feels like you failed at entertaining your guests and that they aren’t having a good time. The best Maid of Honor knows when to roll up their sleeves and boogie on the dance floor to get the crowd up and moving. This means more than you’ll ever know, especially to a bride who may be on the more shy side!
6. The Speech
I don’t care how timid you are or how much you loath public speaking-this is your time to shine! This bride picked you as your Maid of Honor because you are one of the most important people in her life so write a good speech and practice it. This is your opportunity to let her know how much she means to you and how honored you feel. Really plan it out and deliver it from the heart. This is a precious moment you can never get back. Let her know how much you love her and what this day means for both of you. I recommend rehearsing it as much as possible and writing it on nice paper so you can give it to her afterward.
At the end of the day you are the bride’s fortress in a storm of uncertainty. When in doubt ask yourself “If this were me, what would make me feel better at this moment?” It’s not rocket science but it is instinctual science so think ahead to what you would want to be done for you and you’ll be all good. Also, don’t forget to enjoy yourself because that’s what weddings are all about. Don’t get lost in the details but get lost in the delivery. You are their source of unending love and support and you’ll do great if you just remember that!